We women are our own worst enemies. We beat ourselves up over things that we think make us losers in the game of life, particularly in the bit of it that involves catching and keeping men. Most of the time though, we may be wasting our energy. While we're busy worrying about the three pounds we gained last month, he's wondering whether you'll let him finish the prawn crackers. Not because he's an oaf, but because he likes you a lot more than you like yourself sometimes.
1. You've gained weight since you met
If the average man had a pound (£) for every pound (lb) that his girlfriend had gained in the last year, he'd have… well, no idea whatsoever. Even if he had noticed that she'd put on a bit of weight, the chances of him actually minding are as slim as a clothes hanger.
The media may have its ideal of long, toned limbs, but in real life men like all sorts of shapes - and different men have different tastes. You don't have to look far to find boyfriends moaning about how their girlfriends are less sexy when they go on diets.
Men love women's bodies, and your man loves yours. He also loves seeing it naked, and he'd much rather sleep with a confident curvy girl than with anyone who loathes her body, whatever shape it's in. He'd also much rather have the curvy girl round for dinner – standing in the supermarket queue with a selection of macrobiotic food for his date won’t make him feel good about you.
2. You slept together on your first date
Most women will tell you that they’re scared of seeming “easy” if they have sex on a first date, and that no man ever respects a woman he sleeps with on the first night. But speak to most men and they'll tell you that their thoughts are far less sinister than that. They either like a girl or they don't, and having sex on a first date or a fifth date is not necessarily going to change that.
Make up your own mind about sex on a first date, rather than trying to read his mind. Don't do it if it makes you uncomfortable and you’re likely to regret it the next day. Certainly don't do it out of some insecure need to hang onto him. Sex should be about you both enjoying yourselves, not about guilt and emotional guesswork.
3. You talk too much
Some of us hate the way that we turn into babbling lunatics when we're talking to men we fancy. The more we talk, the more embarrassed we get, and the more we talk to try and compensate. It's incredible that the poor men ever hang around to let us finish a sentence, let alone 50 sentences before we take a breath.
The truth is that many men hang around because they don't mind our babble. Some even quite like it. They find it interesting and endearing - or at the very least, they're grateful for the chance to shut up and drink their beer while we do all the conversational hard work. A smart single man will also know that babbling is a sure sign that a woman fancies him.
4. You’ve got spots
Fresh, clean skin is sexy. Fresh, clean skin often has a few spots, no matter what age you are. Your man likes your skin in the buff - all of it, including the skin on your face - because it's the “you” that only he gets to see.
Some girls have more spots than other girls, and most girls have more spots at certain times of the month, but in truth, men really don't seem to mind all that much. They'd much rather see your bare skin in the morning than a face dotted with concealer that you nipped out to apply at 6am. (He WILL notice.)
5. What happened with your ex
You think that you need to explain why you broke up, why you're still friends with him, how long ago it happened and why you won't make the same mistakes again, right? He doesn't care. Your past is your past. He may not be too keen if your ex boyfriend still has a key to your front door and comes round every day for a chat, but otherwise he's not going to lose much sleep over it. To him, your ex is that guy who doesn't get to sleep with you any more.
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