5 things not to talk about on a first date

First dates can be hard but we’ve consulted some top dating experts to guide you thought the conversational minefield.




The X files

You may be super chuffed that you’re still on such good terms with your ex, but take our word for it; your date really won’t share the same enthusiasm. “Talking about ex partners is a total no no,” says Lisa at London introduction agency www.electclub.co.uk. “It indicates you’re still hooked on them. Should you feel the need to talk about it, I would say only discuss it after about four or five dates, and in a casual manner, and never in detail. Talking about former partners implies emotional pain, and inevitable comparison, neither of which are very constructive in a new relationship.”

Money matters

Salaries – or money in general – is another subject best avoided, says Lisa at Elect Club. You may be a high-flying banker but if he’s recently been sacked and is currently working in McDonalds in order to make ends meet, you’re hardly going to make him feel good about himself. “Talking about money gives off the wrong signals – as if you’re already expecting the man to be the provider. It also gives the impression that this is what you value most, which is unattractive to the opposite sex.”

Baby talk

If your maternal clock’s ticking, switch it to silent mode – at least for the first date. “Unless you’re sharing anecdotes about growing up, your parents or similar aged siblings, the subject of family is best discussed later on,” suggests Miki Haines-Sanger, spokesperson for http://www.beautifulpeople.com. “You definitely don’t want to scare anyone off with too much chat about cute little nephews and nieces.”

Party politics

Conversation can seem awkward on first dates, but no matter how strained things feel, try and steer clear of politics – if it becomes immediately apparent you have vastly differing views on the subject, the situation is unlikely to improve. If it’s too late, and it becomes apparent he’s a fan of Ed Miliband while you’re a diehard Thatcherite, take the higher ground. “Agree to disagree and move on to another subject,” says Miki Haines-Sanger at www.beautifulpeople.com. “Anyone who refuses to let you move on from an awkward subject is not worth seeing again.”

The big G

For the same reason, avoid talking about religion – there’s simply too much scope for disagreement – if he’s attended Sunday School since he was a toddler, he’s unlikely to be impressed to learn that you enjoy reading about Satanism in your spare time. Instead, make a conscious effort to find subjects that are of interest to both of you. “Try and find some common ground,” suggests Will Miller at www.mysinglefriend.com. “There are always different areas to life, so see where sparks fly. Start with where you live, how you came to be there and ask what each other likes doing to get some pointers. Then pick up on common ground. You’re both in the same position, so help each other out.”

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